Friday, May 04, 2007

Wanted: Chinese Women

Something I mentioned in an earlier post is the strange contradiction in Western culture whereby Chinese (or Asian) females are stereotyped as alluring and attractive to Western men ('pleasure givers' is one phrase I've heard used) but at the same time, relationships between white men and Chinese/Asian women are often mocked or looked down upon.

Why is this? Could it be anything to do with the types of white males who specifically try to hook up with Chinese women?

I got the chance (accidentally) to investigate this when I went to ThisIsLondon, entered the word 'Chinese' in the search box and came up with the following sponsored link:

"Chinese Women Seek Dating and Marriage - Thousands of Chinese single women seek UK men for dating and marriage. Browse photo profiles and register free now."

I swear I'm not looking for a date or marriage at the moment, but as an inquisitive blogger, it was my duty to click on the link and investigate further.

What I found was at times quite funny, but also an interesting glimpse into the world of 'Non-Chinese Men Who Are Specifically Looking for a Chinese Woman'.

Who are these men? Why Chinese in particular? And most importantly of all, is it funny to be able to browse a website like this without having to register or pay a fee? (Answer: Yes)

So, purely in the interests of research (okay, and a little bit for laughs too), here are a few selected highlights from the Men Seeking Chinese Women section. All the ads are real but the comments are my own.

As a disclaimer, I'd just like to say that all the guys on the site are probably perfectly nice people. It's just that the comedy potential couldn't be missed :)

Remember, all the guys below are looking specifically for a Chinese woman.

Troy, 31.

The grubby vest and bathroom mirror photo combo is always a hit. Right, ladies?

John, 49

Seeks either a wife or someone to form a Northern comedy double act with.

Sanam, 37.

The key to a good personal ad is to highlight your most attractive feature - in this case, chest hair.

Michael, 55

A poet once said the eyes are the window to the soul. In that case, my soul must be a bit mad.

Makaveli, 26

Caring and compassionate. As long as you don't annoy me.

Ismail, 46

Ladies, one day this sofa could be yours (to share)

Dante, 21

"Ni ho ma, DUDE!!!!!"

Carlos, 40.

Genuine ad text: "Very unstable."

I'm a big fan of all Chinese culture, especially Jean Claude Van Damme movies.

Ulysse, 58

Seeks a lady with whom to share my love of pies.

Brad/ yang guang, 36

I have chosen a Chinese name which should put you right at ease.

Mark, 46

I may be 46 but I live by my motto, "you're as young as your hairstyle appears to be!"

Simon, 50

I'm dynamic, exciting, spontaneous, sexy and cool. Sorry about the pic, the chair I was sitting on was too small.

Sebastian, 29.

Please don't be put off by the fact that I am a disembodied head.

Jim, 36

I put a lot of effort into having this photo taken so please show some appreciation by replying to me, for goodness sake.

And my favourite dish is sweet and sour pork.

Adam, 52

You're never to old to own a webcam and wear dark glasses indoors, that's what I say.

Michael, 54

Everyone at work calls me The Joker.

Because I have such a great sense of humour, I think!

Sanjeev, 40


Genuine ad text: 'Marital status: Married'

Celso, 80

I am fun and outgoing but on no account must you EVER disrespect the Family.

And my favourite dish is sweet and sour pork.

Keith, 69

Don't judge a book by its cover. Please!

Ron, 34

The question here is, are YOU good enough For ME. Got that, Chinese woman?

William, 54

Look into my eyes. Not around the eyes.

Zebulon, 28

Don't be put off by my appearance. Everyone in my town looks like this.

And my favourite dish is sweet and sour pork.

And to show that I'm not just taking the mickey out of white guys....

Eric, 27

People often say I bear an uncanny resemblance to Andy Lau. I've no idea why, though!

Rodel, 29

Genuine ad text: 'Large body.'

Well, that always comes in useful I suppose!

Related: Wanted: Chinese Women Pt. 2


Anonymous said...

Quite frightening pictures!

There is definitely a huge amount of taboo and angst surrounding AF/WM relationships but I think it's important to draw a distinction between native East Asian females dating western guys and western-born East Asian women dating white guys who are actually their peers. Different dynamic. Generalisations don't apply.

Anonymous said...

Quite disgusting.

I think I'm gonna highlight this topic on China Daily: Western men looking for Chinese women.

I wonder there'll be any respond from the women at all.

SN said...

the pictures are so... funny, i have to say. thx for opening up my eyes. :)

we've recently written a short story on canadian men interested in marrying chinese women. i should translate it and put it in my blog.

Anonymous said...

Just surfing around and saw this. Fell off my chair laughing. "Disembodied Head" was my favorite. I'm a female caucasian. My sincere condolences to Chinese sisters.

Anonymous said...

As a Eurasian myself, my advice to any AF seeking a WM would be DON'T. Sure, mixed kids look cute whilst young but, like puppies, they grow up. I often hear "Best of Both Worlds" used to describe those of mixed asian\european descent. Believe me, "Worst of Both Worlds", would be a far more apt phrase.

Casey said...

I am a WM with a Chinese GF and I find these stereotypes ridiculous. What type of men do you think you'll find using these online dating services?!

Anonymous said...

Bored on a sat afternoon, trying to see what the internet can offer a BBC-girl, good job i checked out this before hitting the dating net.

Thanx for postin..... "_"

Anonymous said...

Came across this site by accident.

Your personal ads' comments are great...keep on with the good work b.b.b.

What would YOUR personal ad be?? ;-D

Anonymous said...

As a WM with a Chinese GF and i laughed my disembodied head off. Always remember the stereo types work both ways, but if you love someone then who cares???
Cheers Pinky.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm a bbc,I happened to see this site and thought your personal ads' comments were sOoo funny!! really laughed my head off! Thanks needed it! said...

Found this site by accident, very funny post though.

I particuraly like the guy with the hairy chest....

I don't know. I agree with the above comment about how a BBC with a white man is different to a, say, Mainland chinese woman marrying a white guy she met over the internet. Chances are a BBC is pretty westernised already.

From a personal perspective, I am Chinese dating a WM. It makes me cringe that some people might think I am the submissive 'pleasure giver'. I am very much an equal in my relationship.

Anonymous said...

I would say most of the white men who is particularly after a chinese woman are lossers in their own community. Because most of them couldn't hook up a white girl and realise chinese girls are willing to talk to them.(maily because they want to improve their English) The white men would misunderstand chinese girls are more easy-going. However, there are some odd cases. One of my white male friends told me, he loves his Chinese Girlfriend cooking. As allnone of his previous white girlfriends able to cook the way Chinese girls can.

Anonymous said...

Yep those guys were pretty funny looking. I dont supose u could find pics of white females and do something similar? Prob not as most white women look like Angelina Jolie! LOL! White dudes wit Asian ladies ROCKS!!!!!

Anonymous said...

"As a Eurasian myself, my advice to any AF seeking a WM would be DON'T. Sure, mixed kids look cute whilst young but, like puppies, they grow up. I often hear "Best of Both Worlds" used to describe those of mixed asian\european descent. Believe me, "Worst of Both Worlds", would be a far more apt phrase."

Is this a racist comment?

Anonymous said...

I'm a scottish/white guy and I had yellow fever for a while and come on everyone knows why we go after oriental women we all know they are easy lays. Some of them are really thick though and the novelty kinda wears off after a while. My mate went out with this chinagirl and he slept with about 3 - 4 other girls at a time but she'd take him back everytime cos she she was so desperate and stupid.

Anonymous said...

I am pretty sure that these want a chinese woman. Their advertisments are also probably being run by a dating ageny in Mainland China, where many Chinese woman will do all they can to hitch up with a Caucasian guy. That wayy they can be assurred of a better life, as they will probably want to leave China. Also, they want a chance to get a different passport and nationality. It more like a season to ticket out of the mainland rather than 'love'.

Anonymous said...

China and Taiwan have the most lovely females in the world.

i am talking about every aspect of them, the way they view things the way they communicate the way they look.
sure there are some better then others but in general there personalities are far friendlier then most
its not chinese girls in genral its the ones that are brought up in china..
the chinese girls in the uk take on our sloppy values
This is only a generalisation

thats my view anyway


Anonymous said...

Oh my god, it's quite freaky! They would never get me >.<

Anonymous said...

I'm a white male dating a British-Chinese girl and this is just plain stupid. You're going to get weirdos on the internet, period.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

"As a Eurasian myself, my advice to any AF seeking a WM would be DON'T. Sure, mixed kids look cute whilst young but, like puppies, they grow up. I often hear "Best of Both Worlds" used to describe those of mixed asian\european descent. Believe me, "Worst of Both Worlds", would be a far more apt phrase.

Is this a racist comment?"


Joanne said...

I am totally disgusted by this.

Oh yes, they will never get me as well.

MRQ said...

I have now resolved a few issues in my mind....

1) I'm not quite as ugly as some folk who haven't realise quite how ugly they are... But even so....

2) Asking the potential girl of my dreams to turn up with a blood sample, passport, birth certificate, full medical records and all immigration documentation is PROBABLY going to be a bit off putting.... But is the only safe way to proceed when ordering a bride from Ebay

3) It is better to die alone and l desolate in a garret, having years before hacked ones own testicles off with a rusty baked bean can than wind up in the same state as ANY of those blokes....

Personally I don't like tall (Chinese girls often aren't) quite like slightly built (Chinese girls often are) and am a sucker for a pair of big brown eyes....

I was looking for someone short, dark, sultry and with a law degree who could keep me in style to which I'd like to become accustomed. But as I actually DO resemble the bloke with the string vest have come to realise that ain't gonna happen...

Beans on toast anyone? No; I'm keeping the lid off the tin I have a use for it!

Anonymous said...

The majority of white who are in a relationship with asian women are not in a relationship with chinese or japanese women. They are normally with Thai's, Philippino's and everything else! XD

Anonymous said...

My mom's friend's husband apparently works with a Swede that is married to an Asian woman. His remark was that Asian women are gentler. My mother laughed so hard at this comment knowing my temperments.

Anonymous said...

I'm a white British guy with a Chinese wife and I'm considerably better looking than that shower.

Fabien said...

oh my god i have just been laughing so hard people in the office are looking at me.... you are well evil to show these mugshots... nice one!

Anonymous said...

unfortunately, this issue can only come under economic migrant and greed. most women from china only seek money and a nieve way out of china.i must hightlight a classic case. girls from Hunan are particular notorious for their wanted greed in the hope to marry rich foreign men. ask anybody in their 60s in the chinese community and they will tell you they dont rate Hunan girls highly. even in HK, hunan brides are notorious. generally, Lazy and dont mix well with their inlaws. what makes it worse for foreign men, more so I should ass, a overseas chinese, should they be unlucky enough to choose a hunan girl, these girls are so inept they may not want to leave you but leach of you. before marriage, they will do anything to convince you they are good brides (besides the dowry fee they demand: which can go into 15 K, as a start). SO be warned: HUNAN red alert danger!

Anonymous said...

These guys are LOSERS. Whenever a white guy is butt ugly, stupid, or whatever and can't get a girlfriend, they think they can just pick one up in China. And they have to rationalize it by saying they're interested in Chinese culture, American women are too bossy, blah blah blah--when the real truth is that they are complete failures with women and have to try and get one by going to a third world country. Everybody KNOWS this is the truth.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha as a BBC girl, I find this absolutely hilarious.
I'm so westernised, that I find it comical that these guys are so desperate as to actively seek a Chinese girl. I mean, don't most people know that they are too greedy and materialistic for their own good? They'll do anything for money.

Anonymous said...

I stumbled upon this because I am looking for answers. My brother is in the process of trying to get his Chinese woman over to the UK on a visa.
He did go to China and spent 2 weeks with her. He now wants her to come here and has even spoken of marriage.
My brother isn't the weirdo/ugly person that you might think. He's reasonable looking and has a great sense of humour. He just really fancies the oriental ladies.
I'm worried though, and suspicious. To me it seems obvious that he is her escape route and once she gets resideny she'll dump him.
He's already sent her money for her fare but the big joke is that he doesn't exactly have spare cash to throw around. He is paying off a car loan that takes most of his spare cash. He does own his home outright and this worries me, mainly because she knows all this!

Anonymous said...

Has any of you even stopped to think that these men actually want to find love.I think it is wrong that the owner of this blog finds it funny to steal data from a genuine dating website then post onto her site just to ridicule and make fun of them without their knowledge.Regardless of a persons looks age or preference for a certain type of lady, we are all entitled to find companionship and love. These men may be living alone,sad or lonely and want to find someone to share their lives with. Is this a reason to typcast them and ridicule chinese women? I think not.I myself am married to a chinese lady. i am 48 she is 47 she is my soulmate and my best friend.she did not seek money (just as well as i have none)but just wanted to find a man she could love for the rest of her life.She is clever funny kind caring and so are her family and friends.She has dated chinese men but could not find one she could love.One of the reason so many chinese women look for western men is because of the chinese mans upbringing towards a woman. Most chinese men only want a young bride. if you are a chinese woman who has divorced,has children or are over 30, forget it you are very unlikely to marry again because no chinese man will have you.So chinese woman look to the western man for a husband.I would agree a lot of younger women are looking for a way out of china but this is not true of all women from china.I myself looked for a chinese lady for many reasons,mostly because i could not find the qualities i wanted in a western woman.Each to his own,the internet has opened the world to us and now we have a wider choice.
the comments on here are a disgrace
to suggest that only good looking men deserve to be happy and have a girlfriend is ludicrous.Typical comments from the western woman. Is it any wonder these men look for a woman from other countries.!!!!

Anonymous said...

As a WM who has been married to a Canadian-born AF for some 40 years and with a beautiful daughter, the characters on that list looking for AFs appear to be mega-losers! What I want to know is why the stares and hostility from Orientals to a mixed couple? Are they jealous or what? I think it reveals a deep-seated inferiority complex. We are accepted unreservedly by Caucasians, apart from an obnoxious Swiss whom I ended up punching to the ground recently.

Unknown said...

Omg I see we are in a great need of some beautiful Chinese ladies to compensate for all this

Here are a few: Maggie Cheung, Zhou Xun, Zhang Ziyi, Joan Chen, Gong Li and Xiao S


Anonymous said...

Hi Im looking for an oriental//Chinese/ Taiwanese woman . I have facebook can search for me on hope to get to know U. Im in England , Liverpool.

Anonymous said...

Hi Everyone,

I found the article, photos and comments (yes, I tried to read them all) fascinating.

I can see the comedic angle the article writer has explored. Of course, whether or not this sample of "love seekers" is truly representative of everyone on the site, or any "dating" site, has to be considered.

Many men are not photogenic, or do not know how to take a good photo. God bless them.

What astonishes me in the 21st century is how we all still indulge in mildly ill-considered comments regarding non-europeans.

Many asians (females and males) bother to learn our language, study hard and work even harder. How many europeans can even speak basic chinese? Even less may have studied China's rich and fascinating cultural history.

The whole notion of "internet dating" seems suspect to me... Surely, we can still strike up conversations with the opposite sex (in the real world), comb our hair when taking a photo and pick-up a chinese phrase book?

Come on guys, how hard can it be?

Tony said...

Hi (Ni Huo),
I have been looking on both caucasian and eastern asian websites for dating for my own reasons. But some of the women are just as bad on these sites. If people from china and surrounding countries do not want to be here, then why do so many come into this country illegally.
The problem is that there are some who just use dating sites because they are too ugly, lazy, incompetent, what a free ride, green card or a whole host of other reasons.
Personally, I love the rich chinese culture. I am not too enammered with the communist closure of the country. But if they do not destroy the history of their country then they have the right to their beliefs. I also, love the musical tones to their language (which I am learning), but it is a very hard language to learn. Some chinese never learn to write every character of their own langauge as there are so many different characters. But I do enjoy the way that a single word/syllable like MA can have five different meanings depending on how it is said.
I also work in an industry that deals a lot with chinese manufacturers and learning the language has helped build a trust with my contacts.
Not everyone on these sites are there because of relationship issues. Some are there due to workloads not allowing them time to find that someone special, and the internet helps to find that perfect one from a wider range than ever before.

Anonymous said...

I am sickened by your blog, all of these men are probably genuine looking for somebody for companion ship.
I have travelled to China, and most of them are such friendly and wonderful people.
Maybe you are an angry woman cos maybe your man ditched you for an orientable woman, who can blame him though, they are beautiful and sincere.

Anonymous said...

AF/WM relationships are "looked down upon"? By whom? For that matter, as long as the couple is happy, what business is it of anybody else? I pity those who are so bitter and full of hate that they cannot be happy for others who find happiness simply because they have different ethnic or national backgrounds. They reveal far more about the ugliness in their own hearts than those they wish to denigrate.

Anonymous said...

An Anonymous said earlier ''Many asians (females and males) bother to learn our language, study hard and work even harder. How many europeans can even speak basic chinese? Even less may have studied China's rich and fascinating cultural history''

This is mostly true, but from my experience as a WM, I find most of them to be a cold bunch, even when they smile at you. Some might agree but not admit it.

Furthermore, its nobody's business what foreign languages/history others might want to learn or not learn.

Anonymous said...

I do nit think you can generalise everything. Some People only marry fir true love but marry marry for all kind of different reasons, nothing to do with race. So many white women live on benefits or simply having more kids. There are loosers everywhere both men and women. One thing that I can ensure you is that there is NO way a well educated good Chinese woman would be attracted to a White looser!

Filipino dating said...

This is so very interesting western man is searching for a Chinese girl.

Anonymous said...

The truth of it is that generally only bottom of the barrel men go for non westernized AFs, it is cause they can't be with anyone else, like the way the loser kids out together or more plainly fat chicks are mates with mostly other fat chicks....I'm was a school nerd so not saying this just to be vindictive. I've seen friends in such relationships and I'm like 'what the f have you guys got in common? You can barely talk to each other!' I dated a really pretty AF I met in a club and I was so ungodly bored I finished it within month and she still tried to get back with me even though I effectively dumped her by text...! And before you think I'm xenophobic, I'm a male BBC in a long term relationship with a WF.

Anonymous said...

I am also British Asian and I feel that over the years, the patronizing view of Asian women is just growing in UK. Sometimes, I had to endure stares from usually ugly, old men in the street and just recently, one really old and ugly man kept standing next to me and was almost checking me out when I was waiting for the bus. In America, I heard some old and ugly guys who try to get Asian women because they can't get any White women. I guess the same thing is happening in UK too as mostly over 40 yrs old men said they are seeking young, beautiful Asian girls. But guess what? Only money seeking girls in every race (Asians or not) ever consider these women objectifying, humiliating idiots.

Anonymous said...

Im a wm who married an af. Im not sure if I fit the stereotype (top 5% income, entrepreneur) but I have always been attrated to everything asian. Food, martial arts and women too and have spent years in various asian countries. I dont think I have ever been serious about a relationship with a white woman. My sister followed this same pattern, learned Japanese, moved to Tokyo, married a Japanese man